How to Handle the Terrible 2's

Why 2 Year-Olds Defy Their Parents
What a day: Your 2-year-old starts the morning by screaming, "No, me do it!" when you pour the milk on her cereal. Then she flat-out refuses to put away any of the toys she's taken out. Later, when you've had about all you can take, your child has a full-fledged tantrum because she happens to be playing with her friends when you arrive to pick her up at daycare. Is this kid trying to drive you nuts?
The truth is, dealing with defiant 2-3 year-olds is a notoriously difficult part of childrearing. (They don't call it the "terrible twos" for nothing.) When your child shouts "No!" or hurls herself on the ground, kicking and screaming, it's no fun for you, but it is a normal reaction for a child this age. Think about it: Your child is caught up in the excitement — and frustration — that comes with her budding autonomy. Maybe her baby brother gets more attention than she does, or maybe she doesn't like it when she's supposed to drop everything at your whim. Her challenging behavior may not always be appropriate, but it's to be expected at this age.
You may end up with a few gray hairs when it's all over, but you'll survive largely intact by trying to understand where your child is coming from — and by handling her stormy reactions with care.
What You Can Co About Defiance

Be understanding. When your child screams and cries because she doesn't want to leave the playground, give her a hug and tell her you know it's hard to go home when she's having so much fun. The idea is to show her that instead of being part of the problem, you're actually on her side. Try not to get angry (even if you feel embarrassed in front of the other parents). Be kind but firm about making her leave when she must.
Set limits. Young children need — and even want — limits, so set them and make sure your 2-year-old knows what they are. Spell it out for her: "We don't hit. If you're angry, use your words to tell Adam that you want the toy back" or "Remember, you always have to hold my hand in the parking lot."
If your youngster has problems abiding by the rules (as every 2-year-old will), work on solutions. If she hits her baby brother because she's feeling left out, for instance, let her help you feed or bathe him, then find a way for her to have her own special time with you. If she gets out of bed because she's afraid of the dark, give her a flashlight to keep on her nightstand.
Reinforce good behavior. Rather than paying attention to your child only when she's misbehaving, try to catch her acting appropriately: "Thanks for playing with Charlie while I change his diaper. That's very helpful!"  And though you may be sorely tempted to give your child a verbal lashing when she engages in undesirable antics, hold your tongue. "When a child behaves badly, she already feels terrible," says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline series of books. "Where did we ever get the idea that in order to make children do better, we first have to make them feel worse?" In fact, doing so may only produce more negative behavior.
Remember, too, that disciplining your child doesn't mean controlling her — it means teaching her to control herself. Punishment might get her to behave, but only because she's afraid not to. It's best for your 2-year-old to do the right thing because she wants to — because it makes the day more fun for her or makes her feel good.

Use time-outs — positively. When your child is at the end of her rope, ready to bust a gasket because she isn't getting her way, help her cool off. Rather than a punitive time-out ("Go to your room!"), take her to a comfy sofa in the den or to a favorite corner of her bedroom. Maybe your child would even like to design a "calm-down place" for herself — with a big pillow, a soft blanket, and a few favorite books. If she refuses to go, offer to go along with her and read a story. If she still refuses, go yourself — just to chill out. You'll not only set a good example, you might get a much-needed break. Once you both feel better, that's the time to talk about appropriate behavior.

Empower your 2-year-old. Providing opportunities for your child to make her own choices allows her to try out some of her newfound autonomy in a controlled environment. Instead of demanding that she put on the jeans you've selected, for instance, let her choose one of the two pairs you've laid out. Ask if she'd like peas or green beans with dinner, and which of two stories at bedtime. Another way to help your youngster feel more in control is to tell her what she can do instead of what she can't. Rather than saying, "No! Don't throw that ball in the house!" say, "Let's go outside and throw the ball together." If she wants an ice-cream cone before dinner, tell her she can choose between a slice of cheese and a banana.
Choose your battles. If your fashion-savvy 2-year-old wants to wear her striped turtleneck with her pink, polka-dot leggings, what do you care? If she wants waffles for lunch and peanut butter and jelly for breakfast, what's the harm? Sometimes it's easier to look the other way — when she splashes in a mud puddle on the way home, for example, or stuffs her puppet under her bed instead of putting it on the proper shelf.
Respect her age and stage. Try to avoid situations that are sure to send your 2-year-old into a meltdown. Why risk taking her to a fancy restaurant when you could just meet your sister for a picnic in the park? How realistic is it to expect your youngster to behave in a clothing store or sit quietly during an hour-long community meeting? If you find yourself in a tricky situation, use distraction to avoid a head-on collision with your tot. When your child spots a lovely flower arrangement in the lobby, for instance, quickly show her how the numbers by the elevator shift as the elevator changes floors.Finally, respect the unique world your 2-year-old lives in, especially the way she perceives time (or doesn't). So rather than expecting her to jump up from a game at daycare to rush home with you, give her a few minutes' notice to help her switch gears ("Amy, we'll leaving in five minutes, so please finish up").
There's no guarantee that your child will break away from her fun without complaint. (In fact, it's a good bet she'll raise the hairs on the back of your neck with her bellowing.) But as long as you're patient and consistent, your youngster will eventually learn that defiance isn't the way to get what she wants.

Summer Fun Activities!

Warm weather is here  and its time to go outside and enjoy the world around us! Some fun summer activities:

• Dig for “treasure” (small toys or play jewelry) in the sandbox: bury toy dinosaurs/shells/rocks/box of play jewelry or coins and pretend to be paleontologists or archaeologists. Provide small brushes to dust off the items.
• Study the clouds. Pull out a blanket and lay down in the grass. Point out the clouds to your child and guess what they look like. Ask your child what he thinks they look like. This is a great way to stretch your child's imagination and get in some cuddles.
• Have a pretend car wash where you get out your child’s ride on toys and let them clean
  all their “cars.”
• Use sidewalk chalk to work on numbers and letters
• Have a sensory play station outside with salt, flour or beans and let them pour, sift and feel all the different textures
• Go bowling in the driveway with empty 2 liter bottles and a beach ball.
• Go to your local farmers market and talk about all the colors, smells, and sounds.

Zeelmania-Monday June 6

Zeeland Community Hospital is hosting an event this summer called Zeelmania downtown on Main Street every Monday night from June 6 through August 29. You can shop the farmers market, visit with Spectrum Health Zeeland Community Hospital experts and get your heart pumping by engaging in free and fun physical activities and entertainment for kids and adults.

Tonight's Schedule:

MAIN PLACE MARKET
5-7:30pm – Get a taste of healthy living with Zeeland’s local Farm & Craft Market.

ZEELMANIA KICKOFF SURPRISE 6pm –A Celebration on Main Street to kick off the first night of ZEELMANIA! A surprise activity for all ages!

THE GROOVE METHOD 5pm, 6pm, 7pm– Dance classes for all ages with simple moves inspired by all genres. Why GROOVE? Dancing hasmany health benefits that go beyond making your muscles and heart stronger. Try a GROOVE class today and start dancing for the HEALTH of it! Taught by Heather Winia. Families welcome.

LIMBO FOR KIDS 5-7:30pm – How LOW can YOU go?! Taught by Kelly Adkins. Ages 13 and younger.

TEDDY BEAR CHECK-UP 5-7:30pm – Bring your Teddy Bear downtown and let the experts from Spectrum Health Zeeland Community Hospital give him a full check up. No appointments necessary. Dolls & other stuffed toys welcome. Ages 8 and younger.

SPRINKLER SENSATIONS 5-7:30 – Looking for a way to cool off? Bring a towel and enjoy the refreshing community sprinklers set up downtown Zeeland. Families welcome.

BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENING @ THE EXPERT TABLE 5-7:30pm – Spectrum Health Zeeland Community Hospital will be providing Experts who are able to offer support on your health needs. Information on classes and services will be available.

What Signifies a Speech Delay?

 One of the major concerns parents have is whether or not children are on track for speech. Some children take a bit more time to blossom when it comes to talking. However, there is a wide range of normal development which parents should take into consideration before assuming there is a  delay.

If there is an issue, there are several warning signs along the way that suggest this powerful
process of development may need some extra help. There may be no problem at all, but a child should definitely get a hearing and speech evaluation if any of the following applies:

· 12 months no babbling or jargon

· 18 months no single words

· 24 months vocabulary of 10 words or less

· 30 months vocabulary of less than 100 words or no 2 word phrases

· 36 months vocabulary of less than 200 words, no sentences, clarity less than 50%

· 48 months vocabulary of less than 600 words, no complete sentences, clarity less than 80%

If your child is within this range and you have a concern, call Early On for an evaluation. Its free and its never to early to begin if there is a delay.

Call 1-877-702-8602 Ext. 4663

Grand Haven Coast Guard Festival

The Grand Haven Coast Guard Festival is focused on Kids in 2011!  With help from sponsors, we are planning events that are fun and free for kids and families!  On Saturday, July 30, the Kids Parade kicks off at 10:30am.  This is followed at 11:30 with a free hotdog/chips/bottled water lunch down on the waterfront for all kids and families.  At 1:00pm, the festival is holding a Circus in Waterfront Stadium!  Bring the kids down to watch great circus acts including the flying trapeze, juggling, and a little clowning around.   Help us celebrate Home Depot HOMER’s birthday with other known mascots during the circus.  Stay around after because the Lego Experience Tour will be along the waterfront next to the Stadium all weekend for kids to play at and have fun!  And don’t forget Kids Day on Tuesday, August 2, from 10:00 – 2:00 in Mulligan’s Hollow in Grand Haven.  Fun, games, crafts, tractor pull, etc.  For more information, please go to http://www.coastguardfest.org/

Parenting Sessions

The Great Start Parent Coaliton is sponsoring the following parenting sessions this summer:
Free!

The Importance of Reading to Our Children

Thursday, June 16 at the Allendale Township Offices from 6-8 p.m. Dinner and Childcare provided. Please RSVP by 12 p.m. on Wednesday, June 15 to Jodi Glass, 616-396-2301 Ext. 132. * This will also include a tour of the new inclusive playground at Allendale Community Park.

Social Emotional Health in Little Ones

Thursday, August 18 from 6-8 p.m. at Pathways MI, 412 Century Lane, Holland. Dinner and Childcare provided. Please RSVP by 12 p.m. on Wednesday, August 17th  to Jodi Glass, 616-396-2301 Ext. 132.